So for the last couple of weeks, Ive been terribly homesick. I guess its because the cold weather is settling in out here in the northeast, and I’m missing my sunshine. Or perhaps its because I stopped working and now have nothing more to occupy my mind. I can’t say for sure. All I know is that there has been a terrible aching in my heart to go home….I know I should be happier, for my life is everything I thought I would want it to be here, and yet, there is something missing without the struggle and the strife; without the community and support of friends and loved ones; the relaxed atmosphere and layed back attitude of fellow Californians. Something about New York makes me tense and uptight and feeling withdrawn and inward. I feel as if I cant be myself, as if i cant breath, or make a move. Maybe its not NY itself, maybe its the suburbian lifestyle that I have found myself plopped into. Whatever it is – I believe its a slow death, and I feel as if I’m holding my breath, and just biding my time… till I can breathe again.