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I hope in light of the current economic crisis, and global awareness that a new trend emerges. Not that I’m happy about all the devastating news that is announced everyday, but I think that admist every crisis we have a chance for change. Who knew America would actually elect Barack Obama admist all the racial controversy that still exists, and yet we did, making history. And while we are leaving an era of luxury and spoils, and overindulgence, I hope that in the days to come that a new trend surfaces. Where citizens brag about who has kept there car longer, not whose is newer. Who recycles the most, who actually uses appliances til the end of their life. I hope a new green and sustainable way of life comes into focus. Maybe this change was needed, maybe americans needed a wake up call to force them to save more, use less, and waste less. But werent these the lessons are grandparents tried to teach us, how arrogant for us to think we knew better….
Its so hard to know what this life holds for you. Ove been tryig to figure out what it expects of me. I keep trying to learn my lessons and find meaning in everyday events. But im not sure that that works. I’ve sacrificed a lot to be herer and be with my family and do what i have to do. And a lot of times I miss my old life, a life of freedom, of happiness, and this life is a life of sacrifice, of compromise, and devotion. is this the life i wanted, im not sure….i’m just trying to make sense of this east coast life. Is it for me??? i’m not sure anymore?? But i feel life is one day at a time….
sheree-housewives of atlanta
Here is a fun illustration I wiped up while watching the show. I thought all these girls were great characters and very entertaining. I have Kim and NeNe to follow……..
Well, as much as i postulated how homesick I was in my last post, as I lay here, I know that everything in life is a lesson to be learned. And as much as every fiber in my being yearns to be back home in the sun, I now know that there are lessons that I have to learn here, and that I have yet to accomplish. In NY i am to learn how to one: thicken my skin, being too sensitive has always been a problem for me in many areas of my life, two: be more business minded, focused and task-oriented; again, another area my gypsy soul has had problems accepting. Third: I know NY has sooo many art opportunities, that I would be foolish to not try and get out there and go for my dream. Rejection and self doubt has always held me up, and I feel like life is giving me a big kick in the ass to get out there and go for it. So hopefully in the months to come I will try to keep my eyes open for opportunities to grow and learn….
So for the last couple of weeks, Ive been terribly homesick. I guess its because the cold weather is settling in out here in the northeast, and I’m missing my sunshine. Or perhaps its because I stopped working and now have nothing more to occupy my mind. I can’t say for sure. All I know is that there has been a terrible aching in my heart to go home….I know I should be happier, for my life is everything I thought I would want it to be here, and yet, there is something missing without the struggle and the strife; without the community and support of friends and loved ones; the relaxed atmosphere and layed back attitude of fellow Californians. Something about New York makes me tense and uptight and feeling withdrawn and inward. I feel as if I cant be myself, as if i cant breath, or make a move. Maybe its not NY itself, maybe its the suburbian lifestyle that I have found myself plopped into. Whatever it is – I believe its a slow death, and I feel as if I’m holding my breath, and just biding my time… till I can breathe again.
Pirates Cove, quick sketch, 6×8 pastel
So I was at the doctors the other day, which i never go to. The nurse was doing the usual form filing and questionairre, “Do you have any allergies” she asks me, Ive already marked no on the form “No, no allergies” i answer, ” You dont take any medications?”, she asks, again I’ve already marked no on the form ” no, no medications” I answer, “no medications?” she responds incredulously, “no, nothing” I repeat. I then say “Is that rare nowadays for someone not to be taking any medication?”, “yes”, she answers, “everyone is taking something”.
Isnt it interesting in this day and age, that it is rare for someone to not be on a steady prescription, wether its for mental illness, behavioral/anxiety issues, or a physical condition. If we are truly healthier these days, why is there a need for so much medication, for so many drugs? Have we truly become a culture that believes that a little pill will fix everything, and no longer have any personal responsibility for ourselves?? Are we truly putting our lives and our health in the hands of big pharmaceutical companies who only make a enormous profit off of us not getting better?
Where is the logic in that? Why would anyone be motivated to help us under that premise?
